just a thought...
how do you know that you really know someone????
what sort of questions would you ask people to really get to know them????
what sort of questions would you ask people to really get to know them????
posted by Cara at
9:01 PM
7 Comments:
I think, that in our lifetimes, we don't get to truly know many people.
I guess, when you have a deep understanding of someones needs and thoughts is when you would most know them.
To get to that point, I'm not sure there are just question you can ask, and you'll magically know someone.
I think you need to see them, through the ups and downs within their lives, and examine how they react to situations. How they talk about others. How they react with their peers, and the people they choose to hang around with - can all have some bearing on the character they are.
I lot of this process is a one-way analysis of someone, where you observe how they react in their environment, and to situations beyond their control.
Of course, it also depends then if someone is portraying the real them, or if they are just echoing someone else.
The beauty with observing someone is that they don't need to be the 'open' type - observing their reactions will quite often show you what they are like.
I guess, in the end, that you really know someone when you know what they need and how to fulfill that need. You will also have some idea of how they are feeling without asking, to be able to tell whether something is wrong or not.
I'm not really sure if that answers your question or just raises more. I don't really know what the answer is...I just thought of those things and thought it could be a possibility.
By
Anonymous, at 9:15 PM
often we don't ask the kind of questions that it takes to get to know people and that was what i was getting at.
it takes time to know someone. what makes them tick, the space they need, what they really mean when they say something. all this takes time ... are we willing to put that effort into relationships or just to keep people at arms length?
By
Cara, at 12:14 AM
Yeah, I agree, too often we leave unsaid what needs to be said. I think sometimes too, that we fear what the response might be, that it might weaken a relationship.
In reality, I think those questions can only strengthen a relationship.
True relationships are built on a lot of trust, respect and honesty. These come through sharing with each other, asking the hard questions to both yourself, and others.
By
Anonymous, at 12:26 AM
To truely know someone requires shared experience and mutual trust.
The more trust you have the deeper questions you may ask. We do avoid this mostly probably because we don't have time to care. (or think this way)
It's hardest when you constantly see someone week by week but your conscience that you don't know them past what they do.
There are people at church who i don't know past what they do...because i always see them but we never do anything together. There are mission people who i see once every few months that i know well because we Do stuff together and doing stuff shows our struggles, values and what were made of.
...i hope i was under any obligation to answer the question
By
Trav, at 9:31 PM
You know someone when you know how they handle a rainy day, putting up Christmas lights, dealing with their mother and losing their luggage. :)
By
Miss C, at 1:55 AM
I reckon you get to know people by going through life together, particularly difficult stuff. That often builds up trust so you can ask each other difficult stuff.
By
Christop, at 3:26 AM
Good comments Steff, i think you get to know people when they make a blog ;) ;)
By
Trav, at 4:57 PM
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